Today, Tamsin hoiked me off the bed to make way for a new matress. She is very excited about it and is hoping to, at last, have a good night's sleep. I will let you know.
Tamsin and the dogs went to the allotment at the crack of dawn to start putting a fence around it. So far they have done a gate frame and dug holes for the posts. And they claim to be exhausted. Meanwhile, I have been enjoying reading "Your Dog" magazine and laughing at all those stupid canines. They think they are so clever. They should try being a cat.
Meanwhile, I have been enjoying the mattress. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Keep up the payments Tamsin.
Today was walking day. This is a Wigan custom when humans walk from the church to the war memorial, playing music and stuff. Whilst Tamsin applauds the upkeep of local tradition, she did not enjoy waiting in traffic for half an hour before pleading with Mr Policeman to let her drive to her own home rather than take a 7 mile diversion. Luckily, what with the crying, shaking and general drama that accomanies a hormonal human on low blood sugar, Mr Policemen let her drive home and the peace was kept.
An unwelcome letter arrived today, informing Tamsin that her next door neighbours have been granted planning permission to build a two storey extension that will stick out 4.25 metres behind the house and into the garden, taking up nearly half the garden and putting our lovely sunny balcony in shade from about 6pm. We will be completely boxed in.
Tamsin is gutted and staggered that the plans were passed despite her written (and, if I may say so, completely justified) objection and if anyone has any ideas of action that could be taken, she would be glad to hear them.
She is still working on being civil and practising saying, "hello" without screaming, "How could you extend your house? What are you THINKING!?!?!" She is not doing brilliantly at it, but with 5 minute practices every day, she will improve.
Kate and Jamie 11th June 2006
Tamsin and Angie went to Lancaster and then to the Lake District to celebrate Kate and Jamie's wedding. It was a beautiful, humourous and moving ceremony and fun and frienly reception. We had a great time. Congratulations Kate and Jamie!
Yay Dr Hazel! 15th June 2006Congratulations to Hazel who has got her PHd! Hooray"
Dear Carlsberg
I am sorry we left you for the weekend and went down to London. I was careful to leave out your favourite food and to make sure someone checked on you (even though the key wouldn't work and they couldn't get into the house). I feel you are overreacting by not coming home. I haven't seen you for 5 days and I am starting to worry, even though I know you pull this 7 day stunt every summer. How am I supposed to know if you are out on an expedition or if you are locked in someone's shed and need rescuing?
It's raining now, so why don't we call it a truce and you can come home, have a kittycat pouch and we will all be winners. Huh? Waddaya say?
Lots of love
Tamsin
PS I won't mention the fact that you have left me to write June's diary when you know I am up to my neck in work.
Firstly, my sincere apologies to those who berated me for not photographing the "tapeworm on the carpet" scene. I can only imagine how you are going to take the following news.
Whilst out walking, Beanz dived gleefully into some long grass. I smelt a smell and Beanz came out with a decomposing rabbit carcus seething and dripping with maggots. It was a wrestle to prize it from her clamped jaws, but the adrenaline rush helped me no end. And the sorry thing about all this, was that my first thought was, "I haven't got my camera!" What does that say about me?
Dear Tamsin
Firstly, I have to say that I was coming home anyway, and your letter didn't make a bit of difference. I am a cat and I will do as I please, as is my feline way.
Please do not think, however, that I am not aware that you are thinking of selling up and leaving the rat race to go and live on a narrow boat. As you well know, boats do not suit cats. You had better stick to your promise that you will not leave until I give sign or signal that it is ok. And please do not think that you will be able to hasten my departure. Please also do not think that my being extra friendly since I got home and sitting on your knee for the first time this evening is my attempt at winning you round and keeping you on my side.
Lots of love
Carlsberg
PS What about a Kitekat pouch in the morning as well as the evening?
Dear Carlsberg - by Tamsin 22nd June 2006Dear Carlsberg
You know as well as I do that if you have a pouch in the morning, you start patting my face at 5am to ask for your breakfast. And you can forget it cos it ain't gonna happen. I must confess to being suspicious. How comes you have just come and sat on my knee AGAIN? Are you even the real Carlsberg or an imposter? I will ask the vet to check your microchip when you go for your next booster.
Anyway, we have more important news now. After 4 years of work, and times of despair, Chips has got her bronze Citizen Award from the Kennel Club. Perhaps I will carry her rosette around in my bumbag so if she gets in a scrap I can whip it out, wave it around and blame the other dog. A special thank you to Gayle, Derrick and Karen who let her into the quieter class even though she wasn't qualified, and who let us work at Chips's pace so she could calm down and chill and, and dare I say it, enjoy herself in class.
Lots of love
Tamsin
Weekend in Norwich 25th June 2006
Tamsin, Angie and the dogs have had a lovely weekend in Norwich, visiting Anne and going out for a celebratory meal with Gayle, Chris and friends to celebrate Gayle and Chris's 10th Wedding Anniversary. Congratulations!
Abcess 28th June 2006
As the title suggests, there are more health issues down on the ranch. Poor Carlsberg developed a big lump on her back and was walking funny, so she paid a visit to the vet, who whipped the scab of an absess and, well, we'll leave the rest to your imagination. Actually, it is best not to think about it, it will only upset you. Tamsin was morbidly fascinated.
The vet said Carlsberg was probably involved in a fight, and from the location of the wound, she was running away. Chips has said she will give her some lessons in self defence.
£41 later and Carlsberg is injected and armed with a course of antibiotics.
Thank goodness for insurance 30th June 2006
Another trip to the vet for a 2nd lump. He said it felt more like a tumour but since it has appeared at the same time as the war wound, it is too much of a coincidence and he will treat it as another absess. However, this one seems more problematic and if it doesn't heal properly (shhh don't tell Carlsberg) the poor cat may need surgery. So please keep your fingers crossed that it all heals nicely. Apart from anything else, it is a nightmare keeping the animal in the house. She hides behind the front door and when you come in, she darts past you to make a break for freedom. Advice welcome. Perhaps we should build some kind of airlock.